Listen up hillbillys, it’s time for Uncle Jack Sparks to rant and review of the Coutry Music Awards. Always a heaping helping good time of meanness at the expense of Nashville’s conveyer belt country products and insight into acts that really should get the awards.

An excerpt: The only list you’re going to read grounded in twang reality. If you’re new to this exercise, and you think what you listen to on stations like K102, KEEY is country music, or even worse, you think it’s good, you should stop reading now. As always, this will end up being an indictment of the Nashville system of picking singers and music based on delivering a demographic for the advertisers who sponsor country radio and should not be taken as an insult to the extremely talented and hardworking studio musicians, the real artists of country music, who’ll never get recording contracts because they can’t get botox injections, braces for their teeth, or saline bags for their boobs.

As Jack Sparks says on his blog, this might very well be the greatest country song ever. WARNING - Not appropriate for playing at work or around your prudish, humorless friends. Happy Friday!